No Separation Anxiety

The American Academy of Pediatrics states that when a child becomes a teen "the child begins to separate from his/her parents and identify with children his/her own age."


I am witnessing this daily. When we invited our teen to go to dinner and the movies with us, she declined the offer, because her friends were going to the local diner and then playing freeze tag at a park.


When we had plans to go out to visit grandparents, she begged to stay home and attend a Freshman class party. It was a "kick off the year" event at a girlfriend's home. All the friends in her group were invited.

When she asked "What are we doing tomorrow?" I said, how about getting a pedicure? Instead, she asked if I could take her to a friend's home at 11 am to practice cheer.

OK Mom, cut the umbilical cord now.

Out With The Old

My teen decided to clean out her closet and drawers to make room for her new school clothes. In a big pile was her first Abercrombie shirt that we bought together, because we liked the look and it smelled so good. Under that was her pink Marilyn Monroe shirt that we bought in honor of her singing "Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend" in the school musical. Her purple "Tickle me Elmo" shirt was discarded too.

Instead of taking these clothes to the Assistance League, I had an idea to go to The Buffalo Exchange in Sherman Oaks to see if she could sell any of her "treasures." After waiting thirty minutes, we hauled her white bag up to the counter and smiled nicely to the buyer. The girls next to us only sold one item, hopeful my daughter would have better luck. At the end, the buyer bought $51.60 worth of clothes and gave my teen a $25.80 credit to purchase merchandise in the store.

A blue t-shirt with a lady running on the front caught her eye. She liked the saying "Chinese food gives me the runs." For $5 she couldn't resist. Then a pair of skinny jeans fit her perfectly. With her credit she only had to pay an additional $4 for her items. Her first sale was a success. She walked away with a big smile on her face and two new treasures for her closet.

The Teenage Transformation

The American Academy of Pediatrics states, "at puberty, this is the time when you notice your child cares more about their appearance. Children begin to separate from their parents and identify with children their own age. Their fluctuating hormones may cause them to feel great one day and be irritable the next."

I noticed this transformation when my tom-boy daughter decided to quit soccer of seven years and join a cheer leading squad. Instead of cargo pants, she started wearing skirts and dresses. Instead of wearing her hair in braids, she had her bangs cut to the side and wore her hair down straight.

Instead of wanting to be by my side, she wants me now to disappear.

Lazy teen or sleep deprived?

How late should you allow a teenager to sleep in the morning? According to a recent study "Teen need more sleep while going through adolescence, at least 9 hours." Sleep deprivation can lead to irritability, mood swings, and lack of self confidence. Does this sound like your teen?

The majority of teenagers don't go to sleep at 8pm or 9pm. Instead, they toss and turn until 11pm or midnight. If you remember the joy of sleeping in until 10 am, then allow your teen the luxury of sleeping in on weekends and during the summer. Studying for exams, going to bed late, and up early to get to school before 8 am doesn't allow your teen to get the needed hours of rest.

He want to meet me?

When my 13 year old talked about Todd, I thought they were just friends, but deep down I knew they were more.
One day in the car she told me, "Todd said he would like to meet you." Meet me? Why? My husband and I told her she was not allowed to have a boyfriend until she is 16. I asked her why again. "He just would like to," she replied. I told her I would have to think about it. (That was the dumbest thing I could have said). Why am I afraid to meet a 14 year old boy? If this happens to you, say "Yes, honey I'd be happy to meet him." Don't ignore the relationship and hope it goes away. Be proactive!